F.A.Q. - No Porn Pledge

FAQ

• What do you mean by porn anyway?

The 1986 Attorney General’s Commission on Pornography defined pornography as, “Material that is predominantly sexually explicit and intended primarily for the purpose of sexual arousal.” Diana Russell defines heterosexual pornography as “Material created for heterosexual males that combines sex and/or the exposure or genitals with abuse or degradation of females in a manner that appears to endorse, condone, or encourage such behavior.” Andrea Dworkin wrote a much longer definition, which is here. We’re okay with all of these definitions.

• What gives you the right to tell people how to live their lives?

Believe it or not, we’ve really gotten this question. We’ve tried to make it exceptionally clear that NoPornPledge is simply a public documentation of people who have V O L U N T A R I L Y given up pornography of their own free will. We haven’t been traveling round the globe holding guns to peoples’ heads and forcing them to sign.

• What if I want to sign but my current partner/spouse/lover is already a porn user?

Well, that’s tricky. We’re not here to tell you what to do, but we hope that if you are seriously opposed to pornography that you’ll find a way to talk to your partner honestly about their porn use. You could get lucky, if they’re just a non-addicted, casual user who never gave much thought to the matter before. However, if they’re a major user or an addict, you’re in for a tougher fight. Still, we think that you need to know sooner rather than later whether your partner truly considers your feelings and discomfort secondary to their masturbatory aids.

• Isn’t it good enough that I’m antiporn? Why does my partner have to be also?

We strongly believe that our drowning-in-porn culture is never going to change unless people who are against pornography start speaking out and refusing to have intimate relationships with known porn users. For example, a woman who puts up with her mate’s porn use despite her discomfort is helping reinforce the myth that women don’t really mind their partners going to strip clubs or masturbating to online porn. This makes it easier for other users to say things like, “Everyone else’s girlfriend is okay with it, so you’re the one with the problem.” That doesn’t help any of us.

• What if I sign the pledge, but change my mind later?

If you think you may change your mind about the pledge, be sure to include your email address when you sign. Then, if you want your name deleted later on, you’ll have to email us from that address.

• How will you know if I continue to use porn after signing?

We won’t. That’s why you shouldn’t sign unless you’re certain.

• What if I’m not ready to sign?Don’t sign. Do some more research and come back when you’re ready.

A joint project of the AntiPorn Activist Network, Through The Flame.org, and one angry girl designs.